The future freaks me out

***NOTE: This is a post that I wrote a few weeks ago. I've finished finals and I'm on break now, but these thoughts are still very fresh in my mind as we approach the end of the year. This is not something that I would typically post onto my blog, but I feel like it's necessary for some reason.


It's December, but surely you already knew that. 

I've finished two of my finals and I have two more to go. I also have two semesters of school left.  (Hopefully, if all goes as planned) Which I don't wanna talk about. Two people asked me about my plans for the near future today, and telling them "I don't wanna talk about it." wasn't exactly a good enough, or polite, answer. So I guess I'm typing my answer here.

I don't know. 

That's my answer. Honestly. I don't know what lies ahead in my future and I'm scared, beyond scared. I'm terrified. Growing up I was always told I could be whatever I wanted to be, and to follow my dreams and that those dreams would come to fruition if I worked hard enough; I'd be doing what I loved, and making money, everything would be magical, I would have a great circle of friends in a bright, brand new city and Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome would come waltzing into my life at any moment if I didn't pay love any attention. And maybe that does all happen, maybe it does. But there's no concrete way to tell if it will. I don't know what I'm doing! I don't even know if the plans I have now will be the plans I have in the next two months. I don't even know what the next sentence in this blog post is going to be. Will I have a blog six months from now? I really do hope so. But the future is just so questionable and up in the air and it's all very terrifying. 

I don't really know what I'm getting at with this post, just expressing my fear I guess. Or maybe it'll be something to look back on, or maybe it's my way of saying "Hey, if you're in school right now, and you have no idea what the hell you're doing, it's okay, I'm in that same, bleak, unsteady boat with you. Now lets get to paddling." 

Give Thanks

An obligatory (late) Thanksgiving post. It had to be done. 

Whenever the end of November rolls around I have to really stop and think about what's happened in the past year, I mean isn't that what everyone does? It's amazing how much you can fit into 365 days, and it's amazing how those 365 can completely change you as a person. I had a lot of big things planned for this year, and a lot of those things fell through. I also lost someone who was and forever will be a cornerstone in my life. And it created a huge shift within my family. 

But I'm thankful I even have the opportunity to pursue my plans and my dreams, and I'm thankful that I'm part of such a strong beautiful family, and I think that it's important to recognize that I'm truly blessed. I hope everyone had an amazing Thanksgiving and a terrific break!

Also aren't my cookie skills on point? 

I didn't realize the frosting was actually dark blue!!! Everyone's mouth was stained after eating them, whoops. 

Sunday Sounds No.4: Weekly Recap

Some sketches from this week

I think I theres two more weeks till the end of the semester. That's crazy. Something crazier? Theres 39 days till Christmas (and 10 more days till Thanksgiving) Where are the days going?

I wish student life was a little more exciting, I feel like I never have anything to look forward to anymore, no trips planned, just assignments, due dates and the very very ominous light at the end of the tunnel called a future. We want to go somewhere for spring break for a repreive, but that requires money and whats the one thing that students don't have? Bingo. 

We did revisit the Black Bean Deli this week though, which is one of our favorite spots in Orlando (Maybe an upcoming blog post?) HIGHLY recommend. I probably should have taken more shots of the entire place and not just my plate, but now I have excuse to go back. (; 

Also wrote a post this week about being a creative or creativity in general that is just sitting in my drafts for right now. I feel like I can feel myself becoming more motivated to create and to share content of all mediums, and I'm excited about it. I can't think of anything else that i'd rather be doing.

And Made In The A.M. came out (officially) on Friday! Check out this week's playlist for a few of my favorite songs off the album, and a couple other songs I've been loving recently.

Halloweekend: BBHMM

So this is definitely a late post, but Halloween was this weekend and I had to write a Literature review for one of my classes, so I think I'm excused from my schedule, at least for a day.

But Happy Halloween!

I haven't dressed up and gone out for Halloween since my Freshman (?) year, and even then it wasn't anything extraordinary. This year I decided to be Rihanna from her BBHMM performance at the iHeartRadio Awards. (You know, this one) And sadly, no one knew who I was lol. You would think people kept up on Rihanna's outfit's I mean hello! (Sarcasm obviously)

But it was a pretty simple costume, not exactly 100% spot on but I think I did a pretty good job considering I only had a week to get everything together for it. If you want to see a larger photo check out my instagram and if you're wondering where everything is from I'll link them down below.

Shoes - ASOS / Thigh Highs - Spirit / Faux Fur Vest* - Target / Body Suit - American Apparel 

* I used green temporary hair dye on the vest to make it green 

**Sunglasses were free from college and I made the necklace with some paper, paint, and some string haha. 

Sunday Sounds No.3: Watched the fireworks...

This week concluded what will probably be my last homecoming week ever (hopefully), and I don't think that really hit me until I just typed those words. As a transfer student I feel like I didn't really get to enjoy and relish every second of my college experience, it's been kind of hum drum for the most part if I'm being honest.
The last time I really remember having a blast was my Freshman year, which was my worst year academically, and soon turned to be my worst year emotionally. I went out a lot, made a lot of friends, experienced a lot of new things and people, and lived on campus (Which I 100% recommend doing if you're a first year student!) But I also didn't take school seriously, made some very big, very terrible mistakes, and kind of hated myself for it for a very long time.
I had to work my ASS off to get back into a University, and while working so hard I feel like I missed out on quite a lot. So Friday was a time of reflection for me, I'm actually doing so much better, SO much better, and I feel lucky to even be at the University I'm at.

So this playlist is just a reflection of time I guess, and perhaps a great one to make out and watch fireworks too.