***NOTE: This is a post that I wrote a few weeks ago. I've finished finals and I'm on break now, but these thoughts are still very fresh in my mind as we approach the end of the year. This is not something that I would typically post onto my blog, but I feel like it's necessary for some reason.
It's December, but surely you already knew that.
It's December, but surely you already knew that.
I've finished two of my finals and I have two more to go. I also have two semesters of school left. (Hopefully, if all goes as planned) Which I don't wanna talk about. Two people asked me about my plans for the near future today, and telling them "I don't wanna talk about it." wasn't exactly a good enough, or polite, answer. So I guess I'm typing my answer here.
I don't know.
That's my answer. Honestly. I don't know what lies ahead in my future and I'm scared, beyond scared. I'm terrified. Growing up I was always told I could be whatever I wanted to be, and to follow my dreams and that those dreams would come to fruition if I worked hard enough; I'd be doing what I loved, and making money, everything would be magical, I would have a great circle of friends in a bright, brand new city and Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome would come waltzing into my life at any moment if I didn't pay love any attention. And maybe that does all happen, maybe it does. But there's no concrete way to tell if it will. I don't know what I'm doing! I don't even know if the plans I have now will be the plans I have in the next two months. I don't even know what the next sentence in this blog post is going to be. Will I have a blog six months from now? I really do hope so. But the future is just so questionable and up in the air and it's all very terrifying.
I don't really know what I'm getting at with this post, just expressing my fear I guess. Or maybe it'll be something to look back on, or maybe it's my way of saying "Hey, if you're in school right now, and you have no idea what the hell you're doing, it's okay, I'm in that same, bleak, unsteady boat with you. Now lets get to paddling."
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